Hard ways of dealing with hard times
by Morderetfan4life
Summary: Margaret's just not the same without Mordecai. She physically harms herself and pushes away anyone who tries to help her? Can her friends save her before she does something too drastic? Before she commits suicide like she thinks about doing? Rated M for language and violence.
1. Margaret just isn't herself

**This is a follow up story for too young to die. After losing Mordecai, Margaret's gone crazy. She gave her son up for adoption and starts doing things to herself that aren't good for her health.**

It's a month since Mordecai's died and Margaret's having trouble dealing with the pain.

One night while in her sleep she starts punching and kicking herself and she's screaming and crying.

No one's able to hear her because she now lives alone.

She gave her son Patrick up for adoption. She has a flashback to the night she gave him up.

She told him "I will always love you, but every since I lost your dad, I haven't been myself, and I wouldn't want you to get hurt because of me."

Patrick hugs Margaret and says "MOMMY I LOVE YOU! I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU!"

Margaret starts crying and says "It's for the best."

She then walks out to the kitchen grabs a sharp knife and cuts herself with it. Her arm bleeds and she winces as she tries not to let the pain of the cut get to her like her emotional pain.

Afterwards she goes back into bed and cries herself to sleep.

The next day at work Margaret's not doing anything except sitting at a table crying.

Benson walks up to her and asks "Margaret, is everything okay?"

Margaret says sadly "I don't want to talk about it, Benson."

Benson notices the cut on Margarets' arm and asks shocked "Margaret, did you do that to yourself?"

Margaret totally loses it and snaps "I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! NOW JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"

Benson says "I know you're hurting because Mordecai's gone, but you don't need to lash out at people."

Margaret gets up and says "I'm done with this shit for now. I'm going home."

Benson watches Margaret leave and says "She needs help and she needs it now."

Margaret starts to head to her car and she sees Rigby walking up to her crying.

Rigby says "Margaret, I'm really upset, and you understand my pain right now. Please I need someone to talk to."

Margaret says in a low voice "Fuck off, I'm not in the mood." she then gets in her car and drives away.

Rigby watches her leave and says "Wow. She's taking this really hard."

**Mordecais' view**

Up in heaven, Mordecai watched the whole thing happen.

He thinks to himself "Wow, without me, Margaret's just not the same. She's being so harsh to everyone. Of course, it's never easy losing someone you love, I'd feel the same if I were still alive and she wasn't."

**Margaret's gone off the deep end. She's totally losing it without Mordecai. How will she deal with the pain as the story progresses? Will she try to get help or will she just keep harming herself and push people away when they try to help her?**


	2. Pushing away people who try to help

**In this chapter Eileen and CJ try to help out their best friend. Will she listen to them or push them away?**

One day Margaret's sitting at home in her room staring at pictures of Mordecai crying her eyes out, beating herself up and cussing.

She stares at a picture of him crying and punching herself.

She says "I'M SO DAMN LOST WITHOUT YOU! I FEEL LIKE I'M IN FUCKING HELL WITHOUT YOU! THIS IS JUST BULLSHIT AND IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Just then the doorbell rings.

Margaret gets up and mumbles to herself "Whoever the hell this is better get the fuck out of here. I'm not in the mood!"

She then opens the door and sees Eileen and CJ standing in the doorway.

CJ says "Margaret, I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry."

Eileen asks "Would you like some company?"

Margaret didn't want to turn away her two best friends so she says "Yeah, come on in."

CJ notices the scar on Margarets' arm and says "OH MY WORD! MARGARET YOUR ARM!"

Margaret tries to hide the fact she cut herself by saying "Fucking knives. I always seem to drop one on the floor and it hits me cutting me before it hits the floor."

Eileen holds Margarets' arm and says "Maybe you should go to the doctor and get that checked out."

Margaret pulls her arm away and says "It's no big deal, Eileen. Accidents happen."

CJ hears her stomach growl and asks "Can I get something to eat, Margaret?"

Margaret says "Sure. I've got some apples out in the kitchen. I'll go cut one so we can split it." she gets up and heads to the kitchen.

When she's in the kitchen she grabs an apple and a knife. She cuts up the apple and then she cuts herself.

She screams in pain and yells "THESE FUCKING KNIVES ARE SO STUPID!"

Eileen and CJ run out to the kitchen and ask worried "MARGARET ARE OKAY!?"

Margaret cries as she snaps at her friends and says "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

CJ and Eileen put their arms on her shoulders and says "Let us help you."

Margaret snaps at them again and says "I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!"

Eileen goes up to Margaret and hugs her and says "We're here for you if you need us."

Margaret is crying hysterically and she just loses it and shoves her best friend away saying "GET THE FUCK OFF ME, BITCH!" she didn't really mean this, but she's so devastated and she's not thinking straight.

Eileen says "I just want to help, Margaret."

CJ pulls the two apart and says "Eileen, she's not in the mood. We should just leave her alone and let her deal with this in her own way."

Eileen and CJ start to leave and as they're leaving Eileen looks back at her best friend and thinks "She's not herself right now. I know she didn't mean what she said to me, but if she'd only understand we're trying to help her."

Outside CJ asks "You want a ride to work?"

Eileen says "I don't think that knife fell on accident."

CJ asks "So you think Margaret cut herself on purpose?"

Eileen says "She's feeling devastated ever since she lost Mordecai and I've noticed she just hasn't been herself. She needs help."

CJ says "We should just let her be for right now. Don't anger her."

Eileen thinks to herself "I love Margaret like a sister, so I want to help her," she then says aloud "Yeah I guess so."

**Margaret has pushed her friends away. She can't handle the pain. How will things go for her? Stay tuned to find out.**


	3. Everyone's worried about Margaret

**In this chapter people suggest Margaret gets professional help. **

One day while at work everyone's talking about Margaret and how things are going for her lately.

Rigby says "She just hides away in her house after work and doesn't get any social interaction."

Skips says "Even at work, she won't talk to any of us."

Pops says "It makes me so upset to see her this way! She loved Mordecai with all her heart and now that he's gone, it's like she's lost."

Muscle Man says "She needs to get help!"

Benson says "I agree. Maybe we should all go talk to her."

They all go over to Margaret and say "Margaret, we should talk."

Margaret snaps "EVERYBODY JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

Rigby says "NO, MARGARET! YOU NEED TO HEAR US OUT!"

Margaret sighs and says "Make it quick. I was just abut to go home."

Benson says "Margaret, we all know how much you love Mordecai and how much you miss him."

Margaret says "Get to the point already!"

Rigby says "You should go to therapy or grief counseling so you can get your life back on track."

Margaret says "THAT'S BULLSHIT! I DON'T NEED HELP! I'M JUST FINE! NOW EVERYBODY FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"

Rigby sighs and says "We tried. I guess there's nothing we can do," he then looks up to the sky and says "Mordecai, Margaret misses you so much and she's totally losing it without you. You need to try and communicate with her somehow and get her to get help. She needs help and you're the only one who can convince her. She'll only listen to you. Dude, please don't do this for us though, do it for Margaret."

**Mordecais' view**

"Dude, you're exactly right. She needs help and I'm the only one who'll motivate her to get the help. I'll see what I can do." Mordecai closes his eyes and sends the thought down to Rigby.

**Back at the park**

Muscle Man asks "What was that, bro?"

Skips says "Rigby and Mordecai are able to communicate with each other by sending thoughts to one another. It may seem odd, but those two were best friends and had a strong connection so they're able to communicate with each other."

Pops asks "What'd Mordecai say to you, Rigby?"

Rigby tells Pops "He said I was right and that he was the only one who can motivate Margaret to get help."

**In Margarets' car**

Margaret is mumbling to herself "What do those assholes know? I don't need help, I'm just fine."

**Mordecais' view**

"No, Margaret, you're not fine. Sweetheart, you do need to get help. I've watched you beat yourself up and cut yourself. I know you're hurting emotionally without me, but that doesn't mean you need to hurt yourself physically. Please, go and get help. Do it for yourself and do it for me."

**In Margarets' car**

Margaret says "Mordecai, I know you're there! I can feel you! I'm so lost without you! I NEED YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW!" Margaret isn't watching where the car's going and she crashes into a tree.

**In the hospital**

Margaret asks dazed and confused "Wh... wh... where the hell am I?"

The doctor says "You're in the hospital, Mrs. Smith."

Margaret asks "What the fuck happened?"

The doctor says "You weren't watching where you driving and you crashed into a tree."

Margaret says "I was talking to my husband."

The doctor says "This is the same hospital your husband was at when he died."

Margaret says "I can still feel him, I can still talk to him, he's still in my heart and in my mind."

The doctor says "It's common for anyone to feel this way after losing someone close to them."

Margaret asks "What are you going to do with me? You're not going to put me in a mental hospital are you?"

The doctor says "No nothing like that."

Margaret says "Good I don't need it. I'M NOT GOING CRAZY! BUT PEOPLE KEEP TRYING TO TALK TO ME AND I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"

The doctor says "Mrs. Smith, you need to learn to control your anger. You need to learn not to be temperamental with others."

Margaret gets up and says "I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE SHIT I'M GOING THROUGH! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS MY PAIN!"

**Margaret has ignored everyone's suggestions to get help so far. In the next chapter what will happen when Eileen stays the night?**


	4. How do I live?

**This chapter is going to be very sad. The title for it is based off a song by Leann Rimes. Eileen stays the night with Margaret. Read to find out what happens. This chapter may shock/upset some readers. Read at your own risk.**

The next day Eileen stays the night with Margaret even though Margaret told her not to come over and that she was fine.

Eileen says "Margaret, you say you're fine, but I can tell you're not. Please just talk to me, you need to let others comfort you instead of hiding yourself away."

Margaret cries her eyes out and says "EILEEN NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH! THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN OR MY HEARTACHE!"

Eileen asks "Would you like to listen to some music to take your mind off it?"

Margaret says "Put on the song how do I live by Leeann Rimes."

Eileen says "That doesn't seem like a good choice, Margaret."

Margaret snaps and says "JUST DO IT, EILEEN!"

Eileen sighs and says "Oh, okay. If that's what you want to listen to."

Eileen puts in the CD and puts on the song.

Margaret says "Thank you, now if you don't mind, I'd like to listen to this song alone."

Eileen says "Okay. I'll come out to check on you soon."

After Eileen goes into another room, Margaret goes out to the kitchen and grabs a knife.

When the chorus to the song comes on Margaret cranks up the volume

The part that's sung is

"I need you in my arms, need you to hold, you're my world, my heart, my soul, if you ever leave, baby you would take away everything good in my life, and tell me now..." As the chorus comes up Eileen comes out and sees Margaret holding the knife close to her.

The chorus starts playing "How do I live without you? I want to know, How do I breathe without you? If you ever go, how do I ever, ever survive? How do I, oh how do I live?"

Eileen runs up to Margaret yelling "NO, MARGARET, STOP! DON'T DO IT!" she tries to pull the knife away from Margaret

Margaret fights her and says "EILEEN, I CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE! THIS IS MY ONLY OPTION!"

Eileen starts to cry and says "NO, NO THIS ISN'T! MARGARET I KNOW YOU MISS MORDECAI, BUT KILLING YOURSELF ISN'T THE ANSWER! YOU NEED TO RE-THINK!"

Margaret says "I'm sorry, Eileen. I've made up my mind. Say goodbye to everyone for me." with this Margaret jabs the knife into her chest.

Eileen is sobbing hysterically saying "NO, NO, NO! MARGARET THIS WASN'T THE ANSWER! IF ONLY YOU'D LET US HELP YOU!" she then says "I NEED TO CALL THE OTHERS! I NEED TO CALL RIGBY!"

**At the park**

Rigby is in his room reading a magazine when his phone rings.

He picks it up and hears a broken-down Eileen on the other end.

Eileen is still sobbing hysterically and she says "RIGBY YOU NEED TO GET THE OTHERS AND GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Rigby says "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eileen, calm down. Tell me calmly what's wrong."

Eileen doesn't know what to say except "MARGARET JUST KILLED HERSELF!"

Rigby asks shocked "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?"

Eileen says "I TRIED TO STOP HER, BUT SHE JUST WOULDN'T LISTEN!"

Rigby says "I guess there's nothing any of us could've done."

**Margaret has just went to heaven and now she and Mordecai are together again. Here's their view**

Margaret says to Mordecai "I had no choice. My pain took over me and I couldn't think straight."

Mordecai hugs Margaret and says "Sweetheart, I'm sorry it had to come to this."

Margaret says "At least we're together again, and this time nothing's going to separate us." she then looks down and has an image of a devastated Eileen at her house kneeling over her lifeless body saying "You're my best friend in the world, Margaret! All I wanted to do was help you. IF ONLY YOU'D JUST LET ME HELP YOU! I'M SORRY YOU WERE SO DEVASTATED, BUT THIS WASN'T THE ANSWER! THIS WASN'T RIGHT, MARGARET! YOU SHOULD'VE JUST LET PEOPLE HELP YOU! YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO US WHEN WE TRIED TO HELP!"

Margaret cries and holds Mordecai close to her.

She says "Poor Eileen. This is going to be so hard for her."

Mordecai kisses Margaret and says "I'm sure she'll find somebody who'll help her."

Margaret says "I hope so. I don't want her to suffer the same fate as me."

Margaret yet again looks down on poor Eileen and says "Goodbye, best friend. I'm sorry I didn't just let you comfort me. My pain was taking over my heart and it was also messing with my head."

Just like when Mordecai communicates with Rigby, Eileen's able to feel Margaret around her.

Eileen looks at the lifeless body and says "I guess it's understandable. I mean, you loved Mordecai with all your heart," she then starts to cry and says "I'll try to be strong for you, but I don't know if I'll be able to. Rest in peace, Margaret. May you always be happy with Mordecai up in heaven."

**So there's the ending of the story. Pretty tragic. How will Eileen deal with losing her best friend and who's the only person who'll understand her pain? Find out in my next story coming soon.**


End file.
